Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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