Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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