it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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