I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
