I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize