something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
