i just identified you from a description of your pipe
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
