my soul wont recognize me after tonight
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
