We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
