I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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