Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
