I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
