id be glad to
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize