Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
being pregnant is like rehab
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
