there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
