i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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