Dual....:-)
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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