You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
3 2 1 whiskey
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
