you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
