I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
