So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
