You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
