He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
