Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
