i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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