You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
