we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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