Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
