Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
last night I used snow as a chaser
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
