i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize