also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize