I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
