'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
