He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
