I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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