I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
