I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
