i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
