Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
