i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
