I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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