her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
