Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
