i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
