I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
