She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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