i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
