you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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