just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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