meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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