How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize