I want to have your abortion
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
