something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
