Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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