Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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