Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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