Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
