Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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