Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize