Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
