I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
