i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize