Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
