I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
