Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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