The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
